Tuesday, October 1, 2019

About dreams

I am seeing weird dreams now a days, may be it is a way to face my fear which is rooted deep inside me? May be..

one of the dream was I am being black mailed by someone for a video/pic of me in a compromised position. (This happend after I started drawing nude pictures )

another was a big scale dream where I am in bangalore, and the city is attacked by man eating crabs, and red color blood every where,and I have to flee to majestic to catch a bus to kerala, and slowly these man eating crabs are killing people everywhere and reaching near my home and I am finding a solution to stop it attacking us.

I have some explanation to myself why i would have seen these dreams, and its a way of convincing me to be out of some inner fear I have.

Tuesday, September 17, 2019

What is life like a single lady in Bangalore?


Bangalore is a heaven if you have good friends around,if you are earning enough to rent a house and stay and have your own privacy,hell especially if you don't have good friends here or you are very introvert in nature.

I have seen this both sides...felt Bangalore is hell in my initial years here..and then felt wow it is such an amazing city to live.

Coming to the point how life is for a single lady in Bangalore.As I  said already if you a single lady not ready to mingle life goes with out much fun.It goes as same boring,missing all the good friends you had in college/schools..work engulfing you than anything..and finally hating this place..

If you are single and ready to mingle both with gals an guys Bangalore has so much fun in store for you.  But there are dangers associated with mingling with guys also..which you need to tactically handle.

Single ladies/gals has to be careful about the guys you meet here..You have to be choosy when it comes to guys ,because you never know their motives..better know about a guys before making friends with them..better make your gal friends friends /some friends friend as your friend..never go and make friends with strangers..which can cause lots of trouble to you in future..

When it comes to guys group in your work place,you have to be careful in making friends with them..its better to have a professional relationship with the co workers..but you can make good gal friends from your work place..

Gal friends are better to be chosen with the kind of wave length you share..choose the similar wavelength people ,you will definitely enjoy their company.

Bangalore is a city where night life is possible..so hanging out with friends on weekend is so much fun!,Always do it with a group of people ,not with a single person when it comes to guys..

Another fun activities can be shopping,eating out etc..there are lots of fine dining restaurants and different cuisine restaurants in Bangalore...I am a big fan of good food,I have tried out almost all the good restaurants in this city.

For those who have patience another fun activity is going shopping..from all the kinds of malls to the places like jayanar,commercial streets,brigade road,avenue road in majestic etc are some shopping places available in bangalore..some places like shivagi nagar and chikpet in majestic where saris and dress materials are available in take away prices..If you are looking for branded cloths then you can go to malls like forum,bangalore central,brand factory,total mall,gopalan malls etc and shop from west side,pantaloons,IBIBA etc..

Also seasonal sales are also happening in all of these malls,I always buy cloths during seasonal sales.

Cinemas are other options to enjoy free time in Bangalore,all the kinds of cinemas like english,hindi,kannada,malayalam,telugu and tamil are showing in theaters.now the cinema theaters are moved to multiplexes and malls,like innovative multiplexes,PVR cinemas in forum,gopalan cinemas,Inox cinemas etc are to name a few.




Transition from bangalore to singapore

So much happend since 2013.. Life changed drastically, I moved from bangalore to the garden city of singapore in 2014 december, Got married to the man I loved(or loved me), had a child who is 3.5 years old now.

Was working in Singapore very hard since 2014 to 2017, during my pregnancy,after delivery etc. Worked day and night until it came to a point I could not take it any more and my health started deteriorating.

For me work was always like worship, not for money, the money it bought along was never a matter to me, until recently I started thinking again as independently about the wishes I have in long run.

I feel expert in my field of work and find myself thinking what is next..

Singapore life have been busy with baby, going through lot of shits at family front, understanding and adjusting with people I had lived with, adjusting with people at work front, managing tantrums of people at work and home, helper, family etc.


In all these mess one day I found solace in meditation, which kept me sane and grounded.Helped me to go through all these in one piece..through meditation I found yoga, the beauty of it... started to look inside...started practicing it..

Through yoga and meditation I found my real interest, I found visions for the future.. I found meaning in what I do.

I started composting at home, read extensively, gone through the surgery of my dad, felt broken and gathered back the strength little by little.

Supported my family emotionally... and financially for that I am very proud..


Now its time, I feel to take next step in life.. I can feel the step is very near...




Friday, December 13, 2013

Its December...month of celebrations,forgiveness,hope,festival,holiday..

A year gets end and new year is born with full of hope..

I am in kind of in peace now a days...no fear for the future..no .regrets about the past just eternal bliss...

Monday, June 17, 2013

I feel there is so much to do..so much to learn....so much to see...so much to travel...

I feel there is a big world out there waiting for me...


feeling alive

How many of us have forgotten to live ,love and laugh?

I am seeing lots of people around me who where so enthusiastic in nature gone full silent and forgotten to live there life being engulfed to the day to day routine and monotonous life's.

Its really sad to see such an energetic people turning to the same old fashioned responsible people who never think about anything out of box.

No matter what age we are we should feel alive! otherwise there is no point of living this life..one day one fine day we all will die,..then there is nothing left..this beautiful planet..this beautiful nature..this beautiful people around us...nothing is left..so when we are living in this mother earth its important to feel alive,its important to feel happy..

Lot of people miss understand the feeling of alive with having alcohol,or by taking drugs etc..that's not feeling alive..its forgetting what you really are and doing things which you as a person never will do..its not the way to feel alive...its the way to trick your conscious..its the way to behave what you are not! so never get in to such activities to feel alive! if you want to knock out yourself out of this work and feel dead you can try all that! :)

According to me feeling alive is doing some thing,that will get you to the excitement of a child! and bring you to a state where you feel everything is beautiful in this world.And you will feel its worth living this life! It can be anything..any little thing...

Read this article in the internet felt its worth sharing!!! If anybody who read this and feels like to feel alive my mission is accomplished! :)

Forty ways to feel alive

SAY SOMETHING YOU’VE BEEN MEANING TO SAY


1. Tell someone how you really feel about them instead of waiting because you’re scared.
2. Tell someone what you really want and need instead of building up resentment.
3. Share your fears publicly, in a blog post for example, and ask the community to keep you accountable in overcoming them.
4. Tell a friend your greatest dream, and then ask them to hold you accountable in pursuing it.
5. Admit to a friend how you really feel about how you spend your time—then brainstorm about ways to improve it.
6. Introduce yourself to someone you’ve been dying to meet, even if you feel nervous.
7. Ask someone who’s done what you want to do for advice and encouragement.
8. Tell your boss what you can do instead of wondering if you’ll ever move forward professionally.
9.  Or tell your boss his services are no longer needed—then finally start pursuing your passion.
10. Tell yourself the truth instead of lying to yourself about the changes you want to make in your life.

TRY SOMETHING YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO TRY 


11. Sign up for a class to learn a skill you’ve always thought would be fun.
12. If you can’t afford a class, look on Craigslist for free events related to that interest.
13. Ask a friend to teach you to do something you don’t know how to do—and offer to teach them something else in return.
14. Take that new class at your gym instead of worrying that you won’t be able to keep up.
15. Buy a new or used instrument and look on for instructional videos on YouTube.
16. Think of something you’d enjoy creating—a blanket, a song, or a small piece of furniture—and then do some research today to take the first step in doing it.
17. Write a blog post or take some photos and submit them to your favorite website.
18. Invite a few of your friends to play a sport you’ve always wanted to try, even if you fear you’ll seem uncoordinated.
19. Blast your favorite song and try a dance style you’ve always admired. Nothing makes you feel alive like getting your blood pumping!
20. Make a list of things you think you’d enjoy, and then pick one you’ve never done to try this weekend.

GO SOMEWHERE YOU’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO GO


 

21. Plan a vacation to that destination you’ve always dreamed about visiting.
22. If you can’t afford that, research cheap ways to travel—staying in hostels, volunteering abroad, or transporting someone else’s car, for example.
23. Issue yourself a “life ticket.” According to Tiny Buddha contributor Jamie Hoang, we find ways to pay tickets when we get them because we have to. Think of travel in that same way—and be resourceful to make it happen.
24. Take a weekend road trip to somewhere close you’ve always wanted to visit.
25. Write down your three favorite hobbies and for each, a place you’ve always wanted to try (i.e.: a beautiful beach an hour away for surfing). Plan to go this weekend.
26. Invite friends to a restaurant, bar, or other establishment you’ve wanted to try, but have avoided in favor or familiarity. (Once you invite other people, you’ll be less inclined to change your mind last-minute!)
27. If you’ve avoided going to a new spot because it’s expensive, start a “fun night” savings jar today, and make trying that place a priority.
28. Make a list of fun “staycation” ideas (for daytrips in your area). Schedule at least two of them for the next month.
29. If there’s a conference you’ve always wanted to attend, book your ticket for next year, or see if you can volunteer there to get free or discounted attendance.
30. Plan some type of creativity-driven travel project—once a week or even month, take photos, draw, or write in a new spot you’ve wanted to visit

DO SOMETHING YOU THOUGHT YOU COULDN’T DO


31. Jot down three qualities you’d like to possess, then three choices or activities that coincide with them (i.e.: adventurous—white water rafting). Make a plan to do that thing.
32. Enlist a friend to help you face it fear, whether it’s quitting your job or skydiving.
33. Create a positive affirmation to replace a limiting belief (i.e.: tell yourself, “I feel confident around new people” instead of “I can’t meet new people—I’m too nervous”). Then use that new belief to push yourself out of your comfort zone.
34. Think of someone you admire and write down three things they do that you don’t think you can. Now make it a personal mission to prove yourself wrong.
35. Think of something huge you’ve wanted to do, but feared you can’t. Now shrink it down to something smaller but related (i.e.: climb Mt. Everest could start with join a rock climbing gym.) Do that smaller thing today. It’s a start!
36. Ask a friend to describe your potential. Find the parts that make your heart race with excitement, and then take one small step today to work toward that possibility.
37. Set a 30-day challenge—i.e. write 5 pages every day without worrying if they’re any good; after 30 days, you’ll have a first draft of a 150-page novel.
38. Ask yourself, “What would I try if I thought I wouldn’t fail?” Take one tiny step toward that goal today.
39. Ask a friend or your significant other to design an “opposite night” for you—a night when the two of you do things completely opposed to what you usually do.
40. Share something you want to do but think you can’t in the comment section here. Just putting it out there is a great start!
This is obviously a large list—and there’s far too much to do all at once. But maybe you can pick just one thing that resonated with you, or pick one thing every week or month.
The point is to do something to feel passionate, excited, and exhilarated.
We all have different interests that inform what we want to do; and we all have different responsibilities that might limit how we’re able to do them. But we all have the ability to make at least one tiny change, or take at least one tiny risk.
Today I’m going to spend several hours doing something I haven’t done in 10 years with people I’ve never met. I feel terrified, but oh so thrilled and alive.
What would give you that feeling?


Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Death

death is a mystery to most of us..even to me..most of us fear death....I have seen couple of deaths in my life..death of my grand mother,grand father and mom's moms death...but saw the dead body of only my grand mother..fathers mother when I was in 9th stand she expired...She was looking cold..but same person no change..her legs where cold when I touched her..I think its better to not see a dead body..because seeing one will make us realize that person have already left from our life's...not seeing will not give that feel...it will give a feel that the person is still belong to our life..and there some where..where we can not see...

That is what happened with my grandfathers death..I could not see his body...they cremated him before I reached home from Bangalore..same with my muttassi..I dint see her life less body..she was already cremated...I was not much sad...the sadness started sinking in slowly whenever I go to her home and not see her there...

I have always wondered where these people go...death is of course a sad feeling...that's why most of the people hesitate to talk about it...every body know its an unsaid truth..every body have to kiss it one or another day...

I have imagined what will be after death..may be we will be still in this world..with out a body...free...able to travel wherever we want...able to travel with time..able to see the people ..feel the people...or its the end? nothing...its a forever sleep...I would like to see death as freedom..a freedom from all these worldly pleasures..a freedom from all the unhappiness happiness..a freedom from these materialistic life's..a freedom from all the boundaries and limitations..a freedom forever...

I have Imagined how it will be if a die under the water..or the ocean..I will fall down to the bed of the ocean...I will feel suffocated for a moment then the freedom...I will be detached from the body...I could travel in the air...I could reach to my home see my mom dad...go to Singapore and see what he doing..go to all the people I wanted to visit and see what they doing...can go to mountains..can see sunsets sunrises...my death wont be painful..it will be a freedom!!!


PS : Jiah Ghans death is quite disturbing....I think she would have also thought the same and would have embraced it willingly.